"Those that cheat WITH you, will cheat ON you" That's not just an expression, it is the gospel truth.
The world is filled with men and women that cheat on their spouses and significant others everyday. They each make up their own reasons for doing so. I happen to be one of those people tha believes there is never a reason to cheat on your spouse or lover. We have all heard the excuse from those in a relationship where their partner may be dying or living with Alzheimer's or some other debilitating condition. One in which they may not be able to live the full and enjoyable lifestyle that they once did. No indeed, I do not believe that is justification to step outside your marriage. Cheating is cheating.
I say this and bring up this conversation topic because I am angry.
Unlike other women who swoon and find glee in the attention of "men" and the innocuous compliments and comments some men make to women, I do not. What carries weight for me is "who" is paying me a compliment, not just the words being said. Like many females I have always had my share of cat calls from men as I walk down the street. And not once did I find that flattering.
I have had MANY situations in my life where married men in the workplace flirted with me. This too was never and is never flattering to me. Let's be clear. I make a distinction between a compliment and flirting. What woman doesn't like being told she is beautiful, I know I do. A sincere compliment is always welcome. However, a look or glance that last a little too long, inquisitive questions about my personal life in the attempt to discover if I am dating, questions and comments about sex, or the biggest (pardon the pun given my large bust-line) pet peeve, comments about my anatomy....all of this crosses the line.
There are women that love attention from married or taken men. They feel it gives them power. To know they were able to "pull" a man away from his partner fills them with a sense of dominance. It lifts their self esteem and self worth. I however never understood that mindset.
I am insulted and angered when a married man flirts with or comes on to me. My immediate thought is How stupid does this guy think I am? How desperate does he think I am? Why would I choose to be with a man that is already taken? Why would I be a party to sneaking around and lies? Forgive my graphic comment, however if its 11 p.m. and I want to call and talk to you (if you know what I mean), to hear your voice....I shouldn't have to be sneaky in my attempt to speak to you. I should be able to call you and get you right away. Men that cheat will always give the excuse "My wife and I are no longer a couple, we just share a house." Then why are you still married?
I work in a divorce law firm and have seen my share of stupid women that come in beside the men they have been cheating with for YEARS....years, sometimes decades. And for what? You can not tell me of the millions of men on the planet that are single and ready to mingle, that schmuck who is married that you are dating is the best and only option for love and sex. I refuse to believe that.
As I have said before, Bill Clinton changed the way I look at men that cheat. You can have a zipper problem and inability to stay faithful AND be intelligent, successful and possess a purpose in life that benefits others. So men that cheat, although I see you as scum, I do recognize that many have something of value to offer society. However women that cheat with these men, I caution you to think first. There is a vendor I have known for almost 12 years and he flirts with me every time I see him. He thinks he is suave and attractive, even though he isn't. He is married with children and I know with every fiber of my being, if I were to ever take him up on his flirting, I would become his dirty little secret. While he is going home nightly to his wife and suburban life, I would be in my home waiting by the phone, praying he could sneak away to call me. What?
Or the countless men that contact me online on blog sites or through my personal website in the attempt to get close to me. Each initially offering nothing but friendship, but as time clicks by, their true intentions become known. What I find most disconcerting these days are how so many men (I guess because of the years of women demanding honesty) now are upfront about the fact that they are married or in a relationship. Putting it out there so I know what I am walking into.
Not me pal! I don't share men, emotionally or physically. :o) Yet countless women settle for this everyday.
So the next time that married guy looks at you a little longer than he should. Hints that he finds you attractive, or pointedly comes on to you. In-boxes you on FaceBook of Twitter in the attempt to get your attention....Ask yourself. Is he worth it? Is he the only man in your community or life to hook up with? Are you prepared to be his "dirty little secret?" And lastly, no matter how bad he says his relationship is or how many compliments he is paying you.....do you really believe you are so special and unique that he isn't saying all of the same things to another woman?
Remember ladies how you got him.....because it may be exactly how you will lose him in the end. Men that cheat with you, will cheat on you.