If you are a man, stop reading now. This is a conversation for women only.
And I say that because I don't think it is something men can relate to. I could be wrong. As a woman, and a woman that does not believe men and women are equal in all ways, I freely admit I am excluding you because I don't think it is something you will understand. But then again, it may open the door to the psyche of some (not all) women.
Today I had one of those days....Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.
From the moment I stepped out of my front door and began my two block walk to work, I got "the look" from everyone I passed. Then came the smiles and the comments. "Wow, great color"......"You look really pretty in that outfit"........"Your makeup is on perfectly!" As I made my way to the elevator in the office building a couple of guys waiting for the elevator said "I'm not hitting on you I swear...but you look beautiful today!"
Yes ladies, it was one of "those days" when all cylinders are humming along, everyone thinks you look great, your clothes fit right, the color is perfect, your makeup is perfect, your skin is glowing and your hair......a good hair day. The only problem is YOU don't feel beautiful or well put together. Your mood is blah, but the world around you sees you as if you are an Angel that has fallen to Earth. This was my day. I did not feel particularly attractive today, yet every person I came in contact with complimented me. As I said, I really do believe almost all women experience this type of day at one time or another to varying degrees. I no longer give compliments to other women for reasons I won't go into. However, I have noticed that not all women feel the same, the compliments are still flowing freely.
I was standing in the drugstore after work, staring at a display, trying to decide on a particular item. Suddenly I look over to see two very young women staring at me (I'm guessing early 20's). I look up and smile, and one of the females says "I have to tell you, you look so beautiful. Your makeup is on point!" (For those not familiar - that terms means it is perfect).
I smiled and thanked her. She turned to her friend and whispered "She is so pretty isn't she.....she even has a pretty voice" To which her friend replied "She's alright, but you can tell she knows it.....stuck up bitch."
When I heard her say that I could only smile. I have been called stuck up MANY times in my life. Each job I have held in life, when I first started rest assured someone female in the office decided I was stuck up. The only saving grace is usually after a short time when people get to know me, that moniker falls to the side and is no longer applicable. Yet as I pass various women on the streets, in shops, at the theater, you name it, there is always the assessment that I am stuck up....snooty.....conceited or the usual "She thinks she looks good"
The question is, Why is it wrong to think you are beautiful?
I walk with confidence and am always aware of how I walk. I walk with purpose and yes, a sashay in my hips. I do smile at people as I pass by and do I am sure carry myself with an air self assurance. Do I think I am beautiful? With makeup on.....yes. But why is that wrong. I have friends, I'm talking grown women 45 and up that don't like Kim Kardashian, Beyonce' and Halle Berry, not because of who they are as individuals, but because they say "They think they are all that...." My response is always, "And?"
Would it be better if women who paid close attention to their looks, instead walked through life with their heads down, meek and shy. Avoided showing any confidence at all to avoid coming across as cocky of self assured? What exactly do women do that triggers the "stuck up" alarms in a person's head to go off? In the incident that happened to me tonight, I can say in all honesty, I was minding my own business and not really aware of my surroundings. I only looked up because I had that feeling that someone was staring at me.
When I am labeled stuck up or conceited online, I know it is coming from a place of shallow judgements. Someone that disagrees with my viewpoints, doesn't like the way I write and the choice of words I use, they see my photo and BAM! She's stuck up. I know this to be true because it happens alot. Yet on the sites where I don't have my photo and the manner in which I write is very different than on this website, my viewpoints are reacted to quite differently. There is much more of a patience and leniency toward what I have to say.
Why is it wrong to think you are beautiful and why do we as women, condemn those that are?